The 2nd Annual "Drunk At First Sight" Blogfest!!!

Thursday, March 17, 2011


It's St. Patrick's Day, at last--and you know what that means!  It's finally time for our blogfest!!  As always, these little events are a great opportunity to meet other writers and spend a day see what other folks have been working on, so please take some time and take the full tour!


As for me, if you've been watching the news lately, you can guess that I've been busy--in a number of my job capacities.  I can't go into the details, but suffice to say I haven't had much time to devote toward writing or blogging.  In fact, I worked all this last weekend--which put a definite dent in my wordcount.

I'm pretty happy with my progress on the story I've been working on for this blogfest, but it's rather long (~10,000 words or so) for a single post, and not yet finished, so I'm posting up the first 1,000 words or so to give you a taste.  Perhaps, in a week or two when RL has settled into a more regular routine, I can be prevailed upon to post the rest!

So here's the beginning of my short story, Joyce's Girl.  Enjoy!


Joyce's Girl
(c) 2011 Jon Paul

     "A man need look after his responsibilities," I said. "Any man who doesn't know that is no use to me."
     Denny Connelly stood in front of my desk, an out of sorts young man in a borrowed suit and faded white dress shirt. Tall, lanky thin, built ropy and tough like an I-beam with square shoulders, his hands were the size of dinner plates. He looked every bit like the kind of boy worth hiring, but he had a know-it-all glimmer in his eyes, the kind that burned brightest in twenty-two year-old kids who thought they had the world figured out.
     "My father said you'd have a job for me, Mr. Dolan."
     "I'm well aware of the agreement I made with your father," I said, chewing the end of an unlit cigar. "I told him I'd see what I could do."
     Joe Connelly, Denny's father, was the assistant manager and part owner of the largest building supply wholesaler in Dublin. His handshake was firm, and he was the kind of man who looked you directly in the eye when he spoke. Over the course of the fifteen years we'd done business, Joe and I had become friends. What's bred in the marrow comes out in the bone, they say, but in Joe's case, I wasn't so sure that was true.
     Eyeing Denny carefully, I felt he was too clean cut. Although the hems of his trousers and the cuffs of his borrowed dress coat were frayed, the fabric abraded at the knees and elbows, his shirt was tucked in and his fingernails were fastidiously maintained.
     The boy had a manner about him that I couldn't put my finger on; not arrogance exactly, but a kind of unrestrained haughtiness in the way he hoisted his shoulders, the way he gazed right through me to the back of my head. He looked high-minded, educated, put together. To top it off, it was clear from the start that he didn't want to be here, and the last thing I needed was a guy on one of my crews with an attitude problem.
     "How long have you been out of work?" I asked.
     "Eighteen months," he said without flinching or looking away.
     "Where did you work before?"
     "O'Herlihy's Book Shop, on St. Marten street."
     "And why don't you work there now?"
     A bemused smirk did a jig on Denny's face. "Mr. O'Herlihy is no longer in need of my services."
     In truth, Denny had been sacked after a terrible row with Mr. O'Herlihy, or so his father said. Without warning, one weekday afternoon at the beginning of August, the boy had ousted the books from half the bookshelves in the shop and pitched them to the floor in a storm of rage, all the while showering Mr. O'Herlihy, who stood mouth agape during the entire episode, with a steady stream of coarse and unspeakable insults.
     "Are you married?"
     "Yes."
     "Children?"
     "Yes. A daughter."
     I waited for the boy to go on, but he remained silent, staring at the blank wall behind my head.
     "I have an opening as a bricklayer. Is that something you'd be interested in?"
     "Not particularly," the boy said.
     This response surprised me, and I ran my finger along the bridge of my nose, confused.  In those days, Dublin was a working man's city. On the docks and in the factories, in the pubs come evening, one got used to seeing certain things in men's faces, particularly in the less well off districts of Dublin. Worry. Fear. Regret. Desperation. A stew of used up emotions born of long threadbare days working fingers to the bone, of being dog-tired, knackered, beaten by the minutes and the hours of days without end. Under those circumstances, men were pebbles in an ocean surf, worn smooth, made featureless and indistinct over time, until they became shapeless ghosts passing without notice on your walk to work each morning.
     Joe told me that he was at his wit's end with Denny. Even a threat of throwing Denny and his wife and daughter out on the street--they'd been staying under his roof all this time--hadn't made so much as a dent in the young man's attitude. With no job and no future, Denny must have understood the tightrope on which he was walking, must have understood where life in Dublin with no job would lead. And like a man who is safe at home in bed who wakes suddenly at midnight to discover a locomotive bearing down on him, I expected to see something akin to the same kind of desperation in Denny Connelly's face. Instead Denny's manner was serene, placid even.
     "Bricklaying's hard work, Mr. Connelly."
     Denny looked out the window, not saying a word.
     "You're father tells me you want to be a writer."
     "An author," he corrected.
     "An author. I see." I set my cigar in the marble ashtray on the corner of my desk, pulled open a file of invoices and started to review them. "I think, all things considered, if you want to be an author, then that is where you should concentrate your efforts. I'm afraid we've no place for you here at Dolan & Sons, Mr. Connelly. My secretary will show you to the door. Good day."
     A brief flicker of surprise illuminated Denny's eyes. His mouth hung open for a minute; however ,it wasn't long before the same flat gaze returned. I suppose he hadn't been expecting my answer.
     "Perhaps we can come to some sort of agreement," he said finally, looking me in the eye. His confidence had been shaken, at least a little bit, but he tried to hide it.
     "I'm afraid not," I said. "Put yourself in my shoes, Mr. Connelly. Here are the facts: I run a business. My business is bricklaying. I'd much rather hire a man who aspires to be a bricklayer. Does that make sense to you?"
     "But..."
     The word hung in the air. I waited for him to go on but he didn't. "But what?"
     He looked around the office, searching for words, it seemed. He didn't want to go on.
     "I haven't got all day, Mr. Connelly."
     The boy stood still as a statue in front of my desk. I could tell humility did not come easy to him, that despite the facts in front of him, he felt like he was the one who was being put upon. That's when I first felt something for him. Though I had no sons, I suppose it was something of a fatherly instinct that prompted me to think: He's already lost and he just doesn't know it yet.
     "What's your daughter's name?"
     "Moire," he said after a long pause.
     "How old is she?"
     "Three."
     I scratched my chin and considered this, wondering how Denny thought he was going to survive with no roof over his head, no job and three mouths to feed. High-minded principles rarely put food on the table.
     "I want you to be here tomorrow morning at 8:00 o'clock," I said. I explained that I'd hire him for two weeks--a probationary period--and we'd see where we stood after that. The boy didn't even smile at the news. He bid me farewell and left my office without bothering to shake my hand.
     Now we've both satisfied our obligations to your father. "And don't be late," I yelled after him, wondering what in heck I was getting myself into.

~fin~

Have a very happy and fun St. Paddy's Day--and thanks for staying groovy!

8 bolts from the blue:

Liza said...

I'm looking forward to reading more JP.

Tessa Conte said...

I like it! Expectations must be met, obligations fulfilled... and yet it isn't what either of them want.

Nice.

Caroline said...

Beautifully written. I want to re-read it to admire how seamlessly and succinctly you established character, conflict, and just enough backstory to add to the tension. I definitely want to read more.

Trisha said...

Great writing! I can't believe you wrote 10k! LOL.

Just a note about this:

"Bricklaying's hard work, Mr. Connelly."

Was this intended to entice him? He doesn't sound like the kind of guy who would be enticed by it. Or was the boss guy trying to make him realise bricklaying was a noble kind of work?

Just Another Sarah said...

I found myself being drawn into the story. I like how you wrote it! Thanks for sharing--and thanks for hosting! Happy St. Patrick's Day to you!

Donna Hole said...

Wow; that is how characters are built and rivet the reader to the page. You've done here what I've been attempting in my own work.

Well done. This is going to be a great story.

.........dhole

Myne Whitman said...

I was supposed to take part in this but something came up, so sorry. Hope you had a good St Patrick's day.

FurnaceGirl said...

Your writing has come so far in the last year and a half or so. I'm proud of you. I enjoyed this and I hope to read more soon.

FurnaceGirl

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